i speaka italian

i can't believe i only have 7 days left in Rome. i've done so much since i've been here and yet the city is still full of so many surprises. every day i take out my handy map of Roma and explore a different route from point A to point B. each time finding another treasure.

speaking of treasures... i forgot to mention the trip my parents and i took to Assisi last week. i had been going on and on about how amazing Assisi was and so my mom arranged for us to take a day tour. as an aside: we'd never recommend this tour to anyone we actually like so don't ask us about it. we're still healing from the experience. however...

the views from Assisi are incredible:



although the real highlight was what happened on the way there. for some reason our tour stopped at a ceramic factory on the way to Assisi (we think our crazy guide must get some sort of kickback). they announced there would be a lottery and someone in our group would win a "big surprise!" i'm not sure how i knew i was going to win (the psychic in me), but i did. although i could never predict what i was going to find when i unwrapped my special prize:



giddyup!! now that i look at it again, it's not as hideous as it first appeared. maybe it's even a little cute. maybe i'm drunk. next time you're in my kitchen make sure to look out for it (not that you would have a chance in hell of missing it). it's a soap dish. or at least it will be when i get home.

on Saturday night we went out to Il Convivio with The Millingtons. i had been looking forward to this dinner since i booked my trip here. i had gone in april with lorraine and margaret and couldn't wait to get back. it is top of the line service for about 100EU per person which, by New York standards, isn't all that bad.

it started out so well. we had a nice table in a back room. and one of the appetizers was a personal favorite italian treat: fried zucchini flowers and mozzarella. unfortunately it all went downhill from there... jessica and i ordered the same dish. guinea hen. since both of ours came with raw foul on the plate we wondered if maybe this was some culinary delicacy we just didn't know about. was the possibility of getting salmonella poisoning supposed to add to our experience? we weren't going to complain until my mother and hunter (jessica's husband) compared notes on their lamb. both of their plates were cold. and then my dad chimed in. his fish was room temperature, too. was this normal? i was on the verge of making a decision about complaining to the waiter or not (i was basically the ambassador of our table. the only one who could speak full sentences in italian to the very italian waitstaff) when i sliced into a piece of my hen and saw a huge HAIR sticking out of it!

i called the water girl over and showed it to her. she promptly removed my plate and ran off with it. i then got the waiter's attention to tell him what happened, but he didn't actually see my plate or the hair. next thing i know, the chef has come out of the kitchen with my plate which has clearly been picked over and dissected. he points to a vein and tries to convince me that i was mistaken. i think i know the difference between a vein and a hair. not only that -- they had removed the "hair" or whatever it really was when they came back with the plate. now i was angry. and it takes a lot to get me angry.

egged on by my two sets of parents (jessica and hunter are my faux parents) they tell me it's now or never. if i'm going to really complain i have to go for it... and so i do...

i still can't believe i managed to have this conversation in 85% full blown italian, but i somehow explained to the head waiter that i had eaten there in april and had returned with my family for a special dinner. we were upset because their meals were cold and there was a hair in my food that had then be removed when it was shown to me again. he had an excuse for everything, but was very nice. i stood my ground and politely said it would mean a lot to us if they could do something, even if it was something small. we would really appreciate it.

and who knew? i guess i speak italian after all because my little discussion worked. when the bill came they not only knocked off my hairy meal, but also an additional 80EU of our bill. my two sets of parents couldn't have been more proud. and you know what? neither could i.