driving miss daisy aka guidando signorina daisy

when liz and i decided to drive across italy she automatically got stuck with the actual driving responsibilities. i conveniently can't drive stick plus i let my driver's license lapse. so i took on the role of "navigator".

i thought i'd get ahead of the game and mapquest out our journey. anyone who has used mapquest to get around foreign countries knows that it can really only get you within the general vicinity of where you're trying to end up. the rest is based on luck, psychic prowess, and prayer.

a few highlights from our periwinkle macchina:

DAY 1
after driving all around the city of Como we finally see a sign pointing us towards our hotel. the relief of locating it is quickly replaced with anxiety as the hotel parking lot is like a maze for smart cars. after no sleep and no coffee, liz has to maneuver our car into a microscopic space. we have a minor "incidente" as i encourage liz to keep pulling backwards "you're good you're good... ooops". we hit a pillar. hopefully the scratches will blend with the other ones we never reported when we picked up the car in the first place.



DAY 2
we drive aimlessly around the town of Erba to find "the best gelato" according to my Knopf Mapguide (this name is misleading as the only maps are of general areas in and around Como). locating this gelateria is not going to be easy, but we're hungry women with a mission. luck is finally on our side (or perhaps the laws of probability as we have driven through the town about 3 times) and we happen upon the gelateria and celebrate. after our sugar high we feel confident to drive to Bellagio. the streets are tiny and snake every which way, but again - we are determined. halfway there, we get pulled over at a roadside block by the Carabinieri (Polizia!). the little old man will only speak to us in rapid Italian. i make the mistake of saying, "non abbiamo capito!" (we don't understand!) so now he thinks i'm fluent. he adamantly repeats himself over and over again. he needs our libretto. which means little book. we hand him every possible little book we can think of including the driving manual, car rental agreement, and our passports, but apparently none of these are the libretto he's so insistent about seeing. he repeats himself louder: "libretto! libretto!" no clue, buddy. finally, he gives up. he shrugs and says with a smile, "hasta la vista!"

DAY 3
after hanging out with the monks who make liquor, we head into the city of Como for a little shopping and dinner. after a few wrong turns, we realize we are headed back towards Bellagio (this looks awfully familiar... aw crap!) and have to make a stressful K turn in the middle of a windy mountain road. once we finally arrive in the city of Como our next stress is to find parking. i see something up on the left and excitedly announce it to Liz who thinks i mean to turn right then and there. we end up in a space big enough to hold us prisoner with a gate in front of us we cannot pass through, a chain link fence on our left so we can't turn around, and the only way out is to back up into traffic we can't see.



after laughing for 10 minutes straight, liz gets up the courage to back into crazy italian traffic and continue the search for a parking space. we make it into the absolute center of Como (are we even allowed to drive in here??) and spy a man pulling out of a parking space! the space is tighter than any we have previously encountered. we back in and out and in and out, hoping a miracle will get us into the space. suddenly, a little old man runs up to our car, spewing out something in italian while smiling and laughing. is he making fun of us?? "non ti offeso, ma..." ok, we get it now... he didn't want to offend us, but he can park the car better than we can. liz bails out of the car and before i know what's going on i'm witnessing parking in its finest art form. he's right. he can definitely park the car better than we can.

DAY 4
it's time to leave Como and get on the road towards Rapallo. i break out my mapquest directions and from the getgo, i send us the wrong way. of course i don't even notice because the scenery is so pretty and i have no idea which direction is north or south anyway. i finally spot a sign pointing in the opposite direction towards Milano and a lightbulb goes off. we turn around and head back the way we are supposed to be going. after a pit stop at AutoGrill (you don't know what you're missing) we are on a roll. and all goes well for 90% of the journey until we get to the exit for Rapallo. my mapquest directions are a joke. there is no way to decipher these. so i decide to use my woman's intuition. not only do i have liz make like 3 wrong turns, but then i do the ultimate. i suggest we make a right instead of a left and suddenly we're back on the Autostrada and can't turn around for another 30 minutes. at this point i realize it's time to demote myself from navigator to passenger. and for the rest of the trip, liz can drive and i will keep my mouth shut.