The Journey Starts Here...

ciao tutti,

today i finally have internet access but only for 10 minutes and counting. i feel like i'm playing beat the clock as i try to post some highlights from my trip so far. where to begin??

liz and i landed in Milan and picked up our spiffy rental car from Europcar (after standing on the wrong line for 15 minutes at Europa - a different rental agency. already the brain is not functioning properly). as we drove off in our somewhat shady car it became apparent that we'd gotten a lemon. but too late to report it of course. our radio is basically haunted and will only turn off if the car itself is off. and the glove compartment is in a constant open position. someone tried to MacGuyver it shut with a piece of duct tape but it did not stick (quite literally). behind me, the back seat will not stay in place so the car seems to be attacking me from both ends. the back seat trying to smush me from behind and the glove compartment hanging dangerously open in front of me. to add to the excitement, almost every road around Lake Como is a 2-lane road that can only fit one car. it's been a wild ride so far!

our first day we drove through a town called Faggetto. which got me wondering. was this perhaps a ghetto for gay men? or more along the lines of a town where everyone tends to "Faggetabout it." before i could take my deep thought too far we drove through Pusiano and Dongo which stirred up a whole other thought pattern... some Amish PA towns came straight to mind.

while we ate at a restaurant yesterday on our way to buy liquor from monks, Liz and i shared breadsticks that were called Fagioloso. which linked back to the new language i was already creating in my head. could something be Fagtastic? or Faglicious? maybe just Fagulous.

as i am continuing to lose all sense of right and wrong, i am also losing some of my english already. and bringing back words i haven't used since the 80s. the other day Liz used to word, "turd." now I am finding any excuse possible to throw “turd” into sentences. “Watch out for that turd on the sidewalk!” “That waiter was acting like such a turd!” “I feel like turd today.” turd is a gem that has been dormant for too long! if I can have any impact from Italy to my American friends it is to encourage you to use turd in a sentence this week. let’s bring back turd! are you with me?

before you lose all respect for me and the purpose of my journey, let me mention that Lake Como is absolutely gorgeous. our hotel is lovely and our room looks directly onto the lake. our first night here we were hit on by one of the waiters in the hotel who went around telling all the other patrons that Liz and I were his wives. he asked us if he could take us out dancing or for drinks. i am starting to see a pattern in my life. last time Liz and I were on a trip together we were hit on as a “pair”. this does not bode well for the remainder of my trip.

our first full day at Lake Como we drove to some town in the middle of nowhere because we read they had good gelato. i am clearly ignoring my dairy allergy so far. thankfully, yesterday we road tripped to the Monastery where we bought distilled liqueur for digestive ailments. last night we added a few drops to our water glasses and Voila! it worked. these monks sure know a thing or two about distilling their liquor!

in a few minutes we are about to head off on our road trip to Rapallo on the Italian Riviera. hopefully we will come across a few people who are less than twice our age. fingers crossed!

ps. by next post hopefully I will have figured out how to upload pictures!